BYU fans are uptight squares, liberals want to corrupt the young and turn our country into communist Russia, Hispanics care little for law and are a drain on our society, white people problems, poor people are lazy and live on welfare, rich people are greedy bastards, Nintendo is for moms and ten year olds, gay people are ruining are society, jocks are steroid shooting numskulls, 47% of people do not pay taxes and are securely democrat...obviously this list can go indefinitely. The media perpetuates these ideas helping us see others from the earliest ages on through adulthood as 2d caricatures.

Why do we do this and why is it so darn difficult to fight against this dividing tendency? It can be relatively easy to see folks to whom we are connected in a positive way such as family, friends, coworkers, and strangers with similar interests in an understanding light. Yet we too often create in others what Tara Brach calls the"unreal other," a two dimensional character that represents something separate and outside of our self and little else. This is where stereotypes and generalizations enter and often remain keeping us apart and ignorant doing much damage in the process.

This applies often to those we think of favorably as well. Our favorite athlete, politician, movie star, crush, teacher...are often seen as an amalgam of flattering qualities that does not exist for anyone in reality. We unfortunately idealize those we like and demonize those different. Of course once we get to know people better we come to see that even the most annoying co-worker can be funny and kind at times or that the most beautiful perfect woman ever is not entirely without flaw and even gets upset sometimes. The tough thing is that it is impossible to familiarize ourselves with every human being that we come in contact with. Thus it remains a wonder, as Henry David Thoreau said "Could a greater miracle take place then for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"

But how do we do this on a consistent basis? Is it even possible in our competitive, increasingly isolated society? Of course in many ways through technology the world has shrunk and we are more connected than ever before thanks to facebook, the internet and smartphones. Yet does this improve feelings of trust and connectedness or rather act as wedge for group think and social media straw-men? I'm sure it varies from person to person and, my experience has been both positive and negative.

Humans are social creatures. We need real human contact. Socially we have evolved as individuals in how we interact. Our sphere of concern and identity ideally moves from self to family to neighborhood to larger community to state to nation and then to the world. Yet more often than not we get hung up along the way picking out whole groups of people with whom we definitely do not identify. We must overcome this. To be clear I am not asking that we immediately agree with every single human being in their life choices, politics or music preferences but rather that we realize that yes we are each unique but in a multitude of ways we are the same. We long for companionship, love, respect, and joy. We have tough days, heartaches, anxieties and weaknesses. 

It is in my best interest to reach out with compassion to tea partiers, Raider fans, Call of Duty players, and other folks from whom I tend to separate myself. We all know what it is like to be left out, alone and alienated. Every time we reach out with kindness to those that are different than ourselves in a meaningful way the world becomes a better place. You and I are inseparably connected as living beings on this planet, as children of God. Mother Theresa knew this when she said "The problem with the world is that we draw our family circle too small." When we truly remember this the artificial divisions we create melt away through divine light and love.

That's right gather round I've got the key to the one thing that we all aim for, in one way or another, happiness and it's accessible to people of all beliefs. Actually it's a master key to all sorts of grand stuff...not only will this baby bring joy but also meaning, love, friendship, relieve suffering, and perhaps even eternal life!  To begin let's look at some of the smaller keys that can often be mistaken for the ultimate door opener.

Boats, cars, trips, music, toys, sex, addictions, drugs, anger, laziness, sleep, electronics and technology...too name just a few. My personal favorites tend to revolve around food and technology. I consume, always looking forward to the next delicious meal or awesome video game with the feeling that life will just be soooo wonderful once that moment arrives. But what typically happens as soon as that moment is passed I move on looking for the next tasty bite or fun gadget. These keys open doors to hallways that lead to a few promising looking doors that when open lead to perpetually more hallways and more doors...man I'm a slow learner.

The golden, sparkly key that opens the door to a full, happy and present life is so simple...maybe too simple. The shepherd of Nazareth said it best in Matthew 22, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind...Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." What, that's it!? You betcha. The golden rule=the golden key. And although Jesus may be the one we are the most familiar with, wise men throughout the ages have echoed this idea:

Buddhism: "a state that is not pleasing or delightful to me, how could I inflict that upon another?" Samyutta NIkaya v. 353
Confucianism: "Try your best to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself, and you will find that this is the shortest way to benevolence." Mencius VII.A.4
Hinduism: "This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you."
Islam: "None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." Number 13 of Imam Al-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths.
Judaism: "...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Leviticus 19:18
Native American Spirituality: "All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really one." Black Elk
Taoism: "Regard your neighbor's gain as your own gain, and your neighbor's loss as your own loss."
Sufism: "The basis of Sufism is consideration of the hearts and feelings of others. If you haven't the will to gladden someone's heart, then at least beware lest you hurt someone's heart, for on our path, no sin exists but this."
(Bold added for emphasis to my new found faves)

And this is just a portion of the truth found from the world's wisdom. (Link for even more good ones) Humanity has known for centuries and centuries that this key exists and I am confident that certain enlightened individuals of every generation have lived worthy of this principle. Yet where most may dabble in true joy we still fall short cumulatively. Why? You may have noticed that most of these verses reflected only half of what Jesus spoke of...loving our neighbors. But what about loving God?

Am I saying that atheists and agnostics can only at best experience joy by half? Not at all! For those that do believe in deity what does it actually mean to love with your heart, soul and mind? Those that have modeled this principle best for me have had God as a paramount priority in their lives...where all things reflect Him/Her. People, nature, the sunset, the woods, a child's laugh...even suffering. I believe the underlying principle at work is finding something greater and more important than self and dedicating your life to it. 

This is where we get hung up. In my experience it is just too easy to fall back on me, not necessarily in a selfish but rather a self involved kind of way. Yet we must train our minds instead to fall back on ennobling things that resonate with who we are. God, scientific truth, equality, freedom, peace, healing, ending poverty, climate change, ending slavery, combating hatred and ignorance...the possibilities are endless. Yet in putting God or some other idea that is a force for good in this world above our own self interests we can totally transform our perspective from self involvement to seeing how we are all connected. Your joy is mine as is your suffering, successes, failures and heartbreaks. In those moments and days when reach this high standard we taste the key to happiness and eternal life.